


edelweiss

by seb



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cock Warming, Coming Untouched, Family Planning, Giving Birth, Lingerie, M/M, Menstruation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Praise Kink, Riding, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Pregnancy, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seb/pseuds/seb
Summary: may you bloom and growbloom and grow forever“We can take each other’s names. Or— or we could be the Fair-Strife family.”“Family,” Cloud echos, hooked on the word. “I like that.”
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 7
Kudos: 85





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw The Scene from Crisis Core, and though I haven't seen literally anything else from the game, I'm in love with Zack and I just want to be happy when I think about him. So I took imagery and lines from The Scene and am writing a comfort fic out of it. Whether or not I'll upload the rest is up in the air because it's very personal stuff, but we'll see.

He moves beneath Cloud like rivulets of water trickling down glass, jagged and uncertain as they go. His lips are parted and a pretty pink from the abuse of Cloud’s own, and the sound he makes when Cloud grinds on his dick is incredible.

Zack Fair is a glorious god as Cloud has come to know him. He’s built like a marble statue, all cut edges and soft skin, and Cloud revels in the feeling of him squirming under his hips. Zack grabs them like he’s going to pull Cloud down but he knows better, instead just squeezing, making sure he’s real, that he’s there. Zack looks up at you with a smile on his face and it dizzies Cloud for a moment, his head hurting with a terrifying, gut-wrenching feeling that something is wrong— then it passes.

“Zack,” he says, firm. Zack hums, eyes brightening at the sound of his name rolling off Cloud’s tongue. “Flip.” Zack nods, surging up to kiss Cloud, skating his hands over his back before getting a firm grip on his torso and flipping the two of them over. His hair hangs down over Cloud like this, long and silky, and he runs his hand through it, the other cradling his face. “Good boy,” Cloud praises, and if Zack had a tail, he’d be wagging it.

Cloud’s dick must poke Zack’s thigh when he shifts, because he looks down at it, then back up at Cloud with an excited fondness in his eyes that he didn’t know could exist. “What’s the plan?” he asks, switching from leaning on one knee to the other and back, again and again.

“You…” Cloud starts. He’s never been good at this part— the whole dirty talk thing. “You’re going to open yourself up,” he says, and swallows when Zack’s pupils visibly dilate. “And then you’re going to ride me, like the good boy you are.” Zack pushes his face into Cloud’s palm, breath shaking on an exhale. “You’re going to look so pretty.”

“Cloud,” Zack groans, eyes closed as heat rises to his face. Cloud can feel it in his hand. He won’t say it aloud, embarrassed it even affects him so much, but compliments get him going probably more than anything else. A few more breaths with Cloud brushing his fingers through his hair and Zack nods, opening his eyes. “Okay. Okay, yeah.”

He sits up on Cloud’s lap, regretfully out of reach, and grabs the lube Cloud dug out of their bag earlier. As a reminder, Cloud digs a finger in between Zack’s skin and his briefs that are definitely still on, pulling the elastic back and letting it go so it snaps against him. Zack jumps with a laugh, maneuvering awkwardly until he can pull his legs out of the briefs and toss them aside. It’s a sight, alright, as he wobbles unsteadily on his knees and bends his legs in ways that shouldn’t be possible.

“Probably would have been easier to do that before we flipped,” Cloud says, petting Zack’s thighs.

Zack shrugs, popping the cap on the lube. “Maybe if you’d told me to do it before we flipped.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault?” Cloud teases. Zack drizzles some lube on his fingers and Cloud raises his chin as he leans down on one arm to kiss him. Cloud reaches around to grab two handfuls of Zack’s ass, massaging them with his fingers and spreading him open.

“Nn— yeah,” Zack grunts, eyes shutting tightly. “Cloud…”

“I’ve got you,” Cloud says, craning his neck to kiss the furrow in Zack’s brow. Zack groans, sloppily smearing lube over Cloud’s hand as he reaches back, finding his hole and pressing in eagerly. “Slow down, we’ve got time.”

Zack hums, nudging Cloud’s nose with his own as he slowly wiggles a finger in and starts to open himself up. “We sure do, _Cloud Fair_.”

Cloud exhales through his nose, digging his nails into Zack’s ass playfully. “I told you, you’re going to be Zack Strife.” Zack moans, shuddering. He presses a kiss to Cloud’s shoulder, his neck. 

“Why not both?” Zack asks, bringing his face back up to look at Cloud. “We can take each other’s names. Or— or we could be the Fair-Strife family.”

“Family,” Cloud echos, hooked on the word. Zack pauses, caught, and desperately searches Cloud’s face. Before he can say a word to backpedal, Cloud smiles. “I like that.”

“Oh,” Zack breathes, ducking his head back into Cloud’s neck. “Oh, thank you.” Cloud soothes him with a massage to his ass, letting go after a bit to rub up and down his sides. He’s shaking— with anticipation, most likely— and laving at Cloud’s neck with his tongue. 

“Not too many marks,” Cloud says, and Zack hums, moving his mouth down lower. “Tifa will rip me apart again.” That earns him a few puffs of laughter against his collarbone. 

Zack’s hand comes from behind him to plant next to Cloud on the sheets. It’s tacky, and Zack knows Cloud hates the sticky feeling when he’s trying to sleep, but for now, he’ll allow it. He cradles his face again and kisses him hard. “You’re amazing, Zack.”

Zack beams, sitting up so Cloud has space to prop himself up on their pillows. “I’ve got an amazing fiancé to match.”

He uses the word so often, like he’s proud to use it, especially with Cloud. _My fiancé would like the booth_ . _My fiancé ordered pink lemonade_ . _My fiancé is better than me at this video game_. It fills Cloud with some unspoken, unnamed warmth that no one could pry from his chest. 

The same warmth fills him now, as Zack squirts more lube into his hand to cover Cloud’s dick as he straddles his hips. He’s with the man he loves, sharing his body with him, sharing this apartment with him like he always dreamed he’d be able to do. Something tells him he’s lucky. That there are times and places where Cloud was never awarded the luxury of a home, or comfort, or Zack. “I love you,” Cloud blurts out, resting his hands on Zack’s knees. When Zack blinks up at him, terribly caught off-guard, Cloud says it again. “Zack, I love you.”

“I love you,” Zack says, surging forward to kiss him again. His hands are awfully sticky where they take up residence on Cloud’s neck. He must shift just right to where Cloud’s dick slips and presses up against his hole, because he moans, eyes fluttering. “My dreams—” he says, licking his lips. His thumbs swipe across Cloud’s jaw. “They’re ours, now.”

Cloud nearly tears up, swallowing something thick and heavy down his throat. “Ours,” he parrots. Zack doesn’t backpedal this time, doesn’t even need to think about it. Instead, he rises up on Cloud’s lap, positioning Cloud’s dick and sinking down. Cloud drags his hand against the grain of the hair on Zack’s thighs, grabbing his hips without the intention of ever letting go. Zack throws his head back, a long groan reverberating through his chest. “Take your time,” Cloud reminds him, watching the way his chest heaves.

Zack nods, breath shuddering on its way out of his lungs. He slows, picking himself back up off Cloud’s dick then back again, further down each time. “You’re beautiful,” Cloud murmurs, running a hand up his torso. Zack turns his head away, flush consuming his cheeks. “I mean it… look at you.” He taps his fingers on the way back down to Zack’s nipple, taking it between his fingers and squeezing. Zack gasps, hips bucking of their own accord.

Cloud’s breathing picks up just watching Zack ride him, not to mention hearing him moan, feeling his skin beneath his palms. He sits up a little, hesitant; then dives in to taste him, licking across his chest. Zack puts a hand to the nape of his neck and chokes on a noise, back arching as Cloud reaches his nipple. He curls his tongue around it, grazes it with his teeth which drives Zack mad. 

“Cloud— _shit_ ,” Zack groans, pushing up with a purpose. Cloud’s hands roam, pushing up his back, trailing down his thigh. Zack slams back down in Cloud’s lap and whines, grinding his hips back and forth. “Oh, fuck.”

“Think you could come like this?” Cloud asks, digging his fingers into Zack’s ass. Zack nods enthusiastically, panting as he grabs Cloud’s shoulders. “Untouched?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Zack hisses, swiveling his hips again. He fucks himself on Cloud’s cock, little movements up and down to hit the same spot over and over. He buries his head in Cloud’s neck, moaning. “I love you.”

Cloud hums, wrapping his arms around Zack and burying his face in his shoulder. “I know.” He presses kisses to Zack’s collarbone, then, grabbing his ass. “Come on.”

Nodding, Zack clenches around Cloud’s dick, groaning when Cloud wiggles his own hips. It’s not long before he curls into Cloud, coming just like Cloud asked him to and riding out his orgasm slowly. 

“You okay?” Cloud murmurs, brushing a hand through Zack’s messy hair. Zack hums, pressing a wide grin to Cloud’s neck. He lifts his leg up to ease up off Cloud’s dick, unsteadily crawling towards the nightstand to grab a tissue. Cloud takes off his briefs in the meantime, figuring they can clean it all in the morning. 

As Zack cleans them up, he presses kisses to Cloud’s jaw. “Can I do you?”

Cloud shrugs, fisting the sheets in his hand. As badly as he wants to, it’s a waste of time. “Don’t think I will,” he tells him, and Zack nods in understanding. 

“Another night,” Zack says, tossing the tissue in the trash can by their bed. He snuggles into Cloud’s side immediately, face on his chest once he scoots down to lay next to him. Cloud can’t suppress the smile on his face as he drags his fingertips over Zack’s back and relaxes into the pillows. 

Another night, then.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _get a load of this monster_  
>  _he doesn't know how to communicate_  
>  _his mind is in a different place_  
>   
>  Zack smiles, relieved. “I meant it, you know.”  
> Cloud knows. “Your dreams,” he says, remembering. “They’re ours now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, welcome to my comfort fic. After a lot of thought and a friend's input, I decided to post the sequel. Please read these notes.  
>   
> I am a trans man. I wrote this fic to consider my own feelings towards gender, dysphoria, pregnancy, and family. If you sexualize ANY aspect of this fic, I will have your kneecaps. From chapter 2 onwards, this is not a sexy fic. This is a case study on transness. This is an exploration of conflict, of fear, of anxiety, of debilitating dysphoria, of overwhelming joy and exhaustion and the importance of choice. Please be respectful. It took a lot of courage for me to post the following content.

Cloud stares the wall ahead of him blankly, the moonlight streaming through the curtains interrupted by a cloud passing over the city. The clock blinks in his peripheral, an ugly, blurry red.  _ 2:57 _ .

If he could roll over, he would. As it is, Zack’s arm is heavy around his waist, even breaths disturbing the hair at the nape of his neck. His chest is warm, solid, and familiar. For the umpteenth time that night, Cloud closes his eyes and rubs his face against the pillow. The stirring in his gut won’t let up, so he does his best to ignore it. Seven times two is 14. Times three is 21. Times four is 28.

Zack shifts against his back, slotting his leg in between Cloud’s. Times five is 35.

His arm curls tighter around Cloud, pulling him in close. Times six is 42.

He makes a sleepy noise, probably dreaming. Times seven is 49.

“Cloud,” Zack breathes. Cloud holds his own breath, locking it up in his chest. Zack hand drifts from his navel to his chest, his knuckles resting against Cloud’s sleepshirt. Cloud can feel his heart beating a million times faster than usual. A shift in his breath, and Zack speaks again, clearer this time. “Cloud?” 

Cloud lets out the breath he was holding, lightheaded. Zack leans up and away from Cloud’s back, leaning over his side. “Babe?”

Cracking an eye open, Cloud peers up at Zack. His brows are scrunched together, eyes half-open as he peers through the darkness to make out Cloud’s face. “Yeah,” Cloud says, putting a hand on Zack’s at his chest. “Yeah, I’m…”

Zack plants his knee between Cloud’s and leans in to rest his cheek against Cloud’s shoulder. Cloud turns his head to look at him, then, lifting a hand to cup his cheek. “What’s wrong?” Zack murmurs, voice low and warm. “You haven’t been sleeping well at all lately.”

Shit. He noticed. “I—” Cloud starts, but he doesn’t know what to say. He barely knows what to think, his thoughts jumbled, messy; terrifying at worst and exhilarating at best. “You…”

“Oh no,” Zack drawls, a teasing tone beneath the sleep still in his throat. “What did I do?”

“No,” Cloud says instantly, trying to turn his body to look up at him. Zack adjusts until Cloud lays flat beneath him, the blankets twisted at their feet. At his expectant brow, Cloud sighs. “You said… you said we’re going to be the Fair-Strife family, right?”

Zack visibly swallows, brow coming back down just to furrow. “Listen, it was—” Zack starts with a sigh. “It was heat of the moment, I’m sorry. If you don’t like the idea we can—”

“No!” Cloud says, voice above the whisper they’ve been maintaining. He realizes this with a bristle and lowers his voice again, holding Zack’s face in his hands. “No, I… I really like it. I want it for us.”

Zack smiles, relieved. “I meant it, you know.”

Cloud knows. “Your dreams,” he says, remembering. “They’re ours now.” Zack hums, leaning in to kiss Cloud’s nose. Cloud drags his hands back into Zack’s hair, to the nape of his neck, keeping his face close. “What if… they didn’t have to be dreams?”

Zack looks visibly confused. “We’re engaged, Cloud.”

“No,” Cloud says, laughing nervously. “No, I mean… the family. What if we had a family?” Zack’s face scrunches up further— then softens, impossibly awe-struck. “I want one,” Cloud tells him honestly, dragging a hand over his back. “I want one with you.”

Zack’s eyes shine as he searches Cloud’s face for a sign— of anything: mirth, scorn, hesitance. “Cloud,” he whispers, bringing his face up and away to look at him. “You’re serious?”

“As I’ve ever been,” Cloud tells him, nodding once. His fingers curl into his palm behind Zack’s back, nervous still. “I’ve been thinking about it— it’s kept me up at night.” He turns his head to glance at the window, the moon still fighting its way through to be seen. “I think about being a father with you. How our lives would change. How they wouldn’t.”

Zack presses his fingers to Cloud’s cheek so he’ll look at him again. “And you’re sure about this? You’d want to…?”

Cloud’s mouth is a tight line. How does he convey the years he’s spent thinking about this in a few sentences? The dissonance that comes with wanting to have a family so bad, his body, and who he is? How does he express the torture he knows he’ll go through for the sweet reward at the end of it?

“We can talk about this later,” Zack says gently. Cloud opens his eyes once he realizes he closed them. “I’m glad you told me. Now let’s get some sleep.” Cloud moves to protest but is silenced by Zack’s lips pressed to his own, then his nose, then his forehead. He flops beside him, opening his arms for Cloud to cuddle into— and he does, pushing his face into Zack’s chest and trying to breathe through his racing heartbeat.

“I love you,” Cloud murmurs, willing back tears.

“I know,” Zack replies, rubbing his back until, eventually, Cloud falls asleep.

—

Breakfast isn’t tense, nor is it awkward. It’s yesterday’s breakfast and it’ll be tomorrow’s breakfast. Cloud is grateful for that.

Zack sits across him at the island in the kitchen. He looks worse for wear, probably from the disruption to his beauty sleep last night. Cloud is almost ashamed that he slept so peacefully in Zack’s arms after the admission.

He doesn’t bring it up, casually or otherwise. He doesn’t allude to a family in Cloud’s omelette. He sits quietly across the island, crunching on his cereal and likely thinking about the day to come as he peers out of their kitchen window. Cloud is embarrassed to be so obsessive over the thought of a conversation, the concept of what could be their future. He’s ashamed that he can’t be the one to bring it up first.

When Cloud is finished eating, Zack takes his plate and puts it in the sink. Instead of cleaning them right away like he usually does, he turns back around to put his hands over one of Cloud’s, leaning in to kiss his temple. “Whenever you’re ready,” he says, then pads his way out of the kitchen and beyond.

Cloud is dumbfounded. He has half a mind to call Zack back in and ask him to explain, to initiate the conversation so Cloud isn’t left stewing over it. Instead of doing so, Cloud sits quietly at the island, picking at the scraps of his food idly. He doesn’t feel like eating anymore.

—

They don’t talk about it that day. Or that week. It isn’t until Zack comes back from grocery shopping later that month when the topic resurfaces. 

“I got you pears,” Zack says, pulling them out of the bag and dangling them in the air. “I know they’re your favorite— and they were on sale!” He wads up the plastic bag and puts it to the side, grabbing another off the floor. “I got you cherries, too. I think they’re in that bag.” He gestures towards Cloud with his head. 

Cloud grabs the bag closest to him. Sure enough, there they are. A bag of deep red cherries. He presses his finger to one of the circular holes, nail catching on a cherry. It rolls back, stem stretching— there’s another cherry on the other end. “Figured I’d spoil you,” Zack hums, nudging Cloud with his elbow. Cloud stares at his chipped black nail polish pressing against the dark, dotted maroon. “Afterall, you are my—”

“I want a baby,” Cloud blurts out, hand curling around the edge of the counter. Zack stops dead in his tracks, halfway through taking a box of macaroni out of a bag. He slowly turns his head towards Cloud, who tries not to look away. In a feeble attempt at normalcy, Zack continues taking the macaroni out of the bag, wadding up the bag and putting it with the others. He doesn’t bend to pick up another.

Zack is very quiet, looking down at the counter, mirroring Cloud. “Then we’ll have a baby,” he says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. Heat rushes to Cloud’s face as tears well up in his eyes, a swooping in his gut making his heart beat faster. Zack’s hand rests so close to Cloud’s, so he inches it over, a shaking pinky reaching out for his fiance’s. Zack stretches his own pinky out, wrapping it around Cloud’s. “But first, we should make dinner.”

Cloud lets out a watery laugh, nodding. Zack is quick to pull his hand up off the counter and wrap an arm around him, peppering kisses on his forehead. “ _ Hayati _ ,” Zack murmurs, lips pressed to Cloud’s head. Cloud nuzzles Zack’s neck, grabbing a fistful of his shirt.

“I thought you wanted to wait until after dinner,” Cloud jokes.

He feels the rumble of laughter through Zack’s chest, his throat. “Feeling better, huh?” Zack comments, rubbing Cloud’s back. Cloud nods, pulling his head back to look up at him. Zack smiles; something soft, understanding, kind. Cloud can’t help kissing him, nor the smile that graces his face when Zack pulls away.

They make dinner and they talk. More talking than making, than eating, than cleaning. Zack asks Cloud if he’s sure so many times that it doesn’t sound like a real word anymore. But his answer is very real every time it comes out of his mouth. 

“Yes,” he says firmly. “I want this. I want this with you.” He puts the cloth he’s holding down on the counter. “Do you not?”

Zack nearly drops the plate in his hands. “Of course I do,” he says incredulously. “Cloud, I’ve always dreamed of having a family with you.”

“But?”

The plate doesn’t fall from Zack’s grasp; instead, he lays it gently at the bottom of the sink. Rinsing off, he takes the cloth from Cloud and dries his hands. “But… I’m worried about what it’ll do to you. For you. You know?”

Cloud knows. It makes him sick. It fills him with an anxiety he’s never known before. He doesn’t know what to say to assuage Zack’s fear when he can’t even do it for himself. 

“Hey,” Zack whispers, opening his arms. “You’re thinking too much.” Cloud bites back a smile, walking into Zack’s arms and putting his head under his chin like he belongs there. “We’ll figure it out. One step at a time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, by the way, Zack is Arab. _Hayati_ means "my life." I'm smothering this fic in projection + headcanons.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,_  
>  _and you fill my head with you_  
>   
>  “Did you—“ Zack starts, taking a few steps in. “For me?”  
> “For us,” Cloud says. It sounds like a toast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Similar to the Alamo, remember your kneecaps.  
> Please be respectful, as always. You guys have been lovely so far. Also, don't expect updates as quick as I've been posting them... this is very unusual for me, lmao.

Zack stays home from work when it happens.

“God—“ Cloud groans, digging his nails into Zack’s bicep. His forehead is pressed firmly against Zack’s shoulder, eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched tightly closed. He feels like his abdomen is being torn apart and stitched back together at the same time. It’s unbearable.

There are hands on his body, seemingly everywhere at once. On his back, his arms, his legs, the back of his neck. He can feel Zack’s Adam’s apple bob when he swallows and stays silent, not used to this area of comfort anymore.

“I can get the rice,” Zack suggests, voice low and unsure. Cloud shakes his head, hunching further in Zack’s lap as if to become a heavier anchor keeping him tethered to the couch. 

“No, I just—“ Cloud sighs, relinquishing Zack’s arm from his grip. He pets at his shoulder in apology. “You, here.”

“Okay,” Zack hums, kissing Cloud’s temple. He wraps his arms around Cloud’s body and pulls him in. He smells so  _ good _ , lounging in his sleep shirt that smells of toothpaste and old cologne, the shampoo he uses brushing off on the shoulders. Cloud takes a deep breath, shuddering on the exhale. “You alright?”

“You smell good,” Cloud admits. “Feels like home.” Zack hums, resting his chin on Cloud’s head and rubbing over every part of his body in reach over and over again, until he feels like a piece of clay. “Thank you,” he says quietly.

“Thank  _ you _ ,” Zack responds. “For doing this for us, even though it sucks.”

Cloud nods, burrowing farther into Zack’s body. He’s hot as a furnace, smelling like soap and skin, and Cloud wants to make a home out of his chest, the solid cage of his arms. “Worth it,” he tells Zack— and himself. 

—

Zack has been marking the calendar in the hallway. Nothing outlandish, just circles and crosses in the corner. After 4 circles, 3 crosses. There’s a star on the current day. 

He got dolled up for it. He wants to look sexy and confident and not at all like the dreadfully anxious mess he actually is. His hair is silky soft after a shower, down and fluffy the way Zack likes it. The dark blue lace is shockingly prominent against his pale skin. He even put on a nice chain earring to make himself look a little more alluring and a little less awkward. 

It doesn’t work. 

He’s staring across the room at the closet mirror when the door opens. “Cloud?” Zack calls out. There’s a  _ thunk _ of his work bag hitting the ground, heavy footsteps as he makes his way to the kitchen. Cloud’s pulse picks up. 

“Here,” he calls, like Zack is taking attendance. 

There’s a smile in Zack’s voice when he speaks next. “Been thinking about you all day. Brought home some chicken from the place you like!” He steps through their bedroom door and freezes at the sight. Cloud, donned in lingerie and jewelry, legs pressed firmly together on the corner of their bed. “Babe?”

“It’s your favorite set,” Cloud says. Zack nods his agreement. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, too.”

“Did you—“ Zack starts, taking a few steps in. He reaches for his belt buckle. Undoes it. It hangs open at his crotch. “For me?” 

“For us,” Cloud says. It sounds like a toast. He stands, and the charms on his earring jingle. Zack steps forward and reaches out to brush his hair back, cradling the chains in his fingers. 

“ _ Habibi _ ,” Zack breathes, and Cloud shivers. “You look incredible.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Cloud says, tilting his chin up for a kiss. Zack leans in most of the way then stops, the ultimate tease.

“Do you not?” Zack asks him, resting one hand on Cloud’s hip. He strokes gently down Cloud’s neck then up again, disturbing the soft tufts of hair hanging down there. “I think you’re the most gorgeous man in the world.”

“Mm,” Cloud hums, placing his hands on Zack’s elbows. “Says you.”

“Sh, sh.” Zack kisses him, finally, a chaste little thing. “I want tonight to be about you.” He lets both of his hands rest on Cloud’s hips then wiggles him back until Cloud sits on the edge of the bed. “How much I adore you,” Zack says, popping open the buttons of his shirt and letting it fall from his shoulders. “How grateful I am for you.” He pulls his belt from the loops, unzips his pants, and lets all of that fall, too. Cloud presses his thighs together and tries not to touch. When Zack goes to take his undershirt off, Cloud makes a noise. 

“Keep it on,” he says quietly, balling his hands up in his lap. “Smells good.”

Zack drops his hands just to cradle Cloud’s chin in his palm and kiss him. “Of course, baby,” he purrs. “Whatever you want.”

“I want—“ Cloud starts, then stops when Zack pulls back to look at him. Unable to help it anymore, he snakes his arms around Zack’s neck. “I want you.”

Zack grins, planting a knee next to Cloud’s thigh and nuzzling his face. “Can do,” he says, warm and genuine and soft like the rose about to burst out of Cloud’s chest. Zack kisses him again, and again, parting his lips and licking into his mouth like he wants to map out every single one of Cloud’s teeth and remember them by feel alone. “God,” he groans into Cloud’s mouth, open and waiting for the next press of Zack’s lips. “I love you. Scooch.”

Cloud almost sighs at the inconvenience of having to  _ move _ before he realizes how ridiculous that would be. He slides across the sheets until he’s planted between the pillows that he lovingly (anxiously) arranged earlier in the day, sliding down until his head is between them and reaching out for Zack. Zack wastes no time climbing over him and peppering his face with kisses. 

“Zack—” Cloud giggles, one hand buried in his hair and the other pressed to his chest. “Babe.” Zack lets up just to bump their noses together, smiling like a madman. There is a warmth in Cloud’s body that he can’t quite place, something terrifyingly real with Zack this close. He can’t find the words through his suddenly heavy breaths, swallowing thickly instead. 

There are no words, not a glance; just a feeling. Zack retreats from the circle of Cloud’s arms and sits up between his legs, petting his stocking-clad thighs. Cloud can’t even imagine how he must look, face hot and flush probably spread down to his chest. If the bulge in Zack’s boxers tells him anything, his fiance might describe him as looking nothing short of incredible. Zack lifts one of Cloud’s legs, placing it up on his shoulder and kissing his ankle. His eyes close as he works his way up his leg by leaning down, pressing chaste kisses to the stocking, then the bare skin of his thigh. He doesn’t go very far before he lifts Cloud’s other leg and does the same. 

It’s tender and loving in a way Cloud isn’t used to. This isn’t a new practice, but every time Zack does it, Cloud feels thrown off. He is revered by Zack’s hands, his mouth, his eyes. Zack whispers praises as he works his way between Cloud’s thighs and kisses him where Cloud wants him.

“Zack,” Cloud gasps, reaching down to twine his fingers through Zack’s hair. Zack hums, pressing more kisses over the heat of him through his panties. Cloud chokes on his tongue when Zack tugs them to the side, kissing his skin.

“What?” Zack says, teasing. “I don’t want to take them off.”

From there, he lingers. He licks between Cloud’s folds— not rushed, not desperate; simply savoring the moment as he spreads Cloud with his fingers and brings his tongue home. He circles Cloud’s hole before moving onto his dick, hard and throbbing where it’s still trapped beneath the lace of Cloud’s panties. He curls his tongue around it, brings his lips to envelope it, gingerly moving Cloud’s panties out of the way to taste more of him.

Cloud’s thighs shake. He stutters through Zack’s name, barely a sound above his breaths. He unclips the bra with a shaky hand, letting it fall open around his chest. Zack looks up, tongue still wiggling against his dick, and Cloud moans at the sight.

“Come here,” he whispers, and Zack goes. He brings his hand up to cop a feel of Cloud’s pec, pinching his nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Cloud wastes no time, dragging Zack’s mouth up to his own and kissing him like he’s the air above a tumultuous sea. He cups Zack’s face after, pushing until they can look each other in the eyes. “I’m ready.”

As much as he would love to spend the entire night kissing Cloud, there are other things they could be doing. He presses one more kiss to his lips before sitting back up and reaching for their nightstand to grab lube out of the drawer. He reaches for a condom, too, then stops. “Don’t need that,” Zack says with a nervous chuckle. Cloud drags his fingertips from his hip to his knee, then digs beneath his boxers on the way back up.

“No, we don’t,” Cloud says softly.

It’s real, then. Realer than it was before, at least. Zack closes the drawer a little warily and refrains from asking Cloud if he’s sure about this again. He grabs a pillow from the pile at the head of their bed and hits Cloud’s hip with it until he plants his feet on either side of Zack and lifts his ass, settling back down once the pillow is in place. 

Wordlessly, he drizzles lube on his fingers, rubbing them together to spread it out, even and warm. He lays beside Cloud and rubs along his folds until he catches on his hole. Pressing kisses to Cloud’s neck, he delves inside and starts to stretch him. He bites the breath from Cloud’s throat before they make it out of his mouth, gasps and groans barely escaping as he trembles. Cloud clutches onto Zack as best as he can, hooking a leg over Zack’s hip to keep himself open. 

“You’re beautiful,” Zack murmurs into his throat, working his fingers in deep. He curls them and Cloud nearly arches off the bed. “That’s my boy.”

“Please,” Cloud begs, clenching down around his fingers. “I want you. I need you.”

“Shh,” Zack responds against his skin. “I’ve got you, baby.”

He wiggles out of his boxers then grabs the lube again, slicking himself up and climbing up and over Cloud, settling between his legs once more. “Check?”

“Golden.”

“Perfect.” He leans down to peck Cloud’s forehead and lines himself up, pushing himself in tantalizingly slow. 

“Mm,” Cloud hums, reaching up for Zack. He leans down into Cloud’s embrace, closing his eyes as he sheathes himself inside his fiance. His hips wiggle in anticipation, Cloud petting his hair as they lay there, two hearts beating at once. 

Zack pulls back. Presses in again. Cloud’s hips rock up to accommodate him. It’s slow, gentle; loving in a way that could bring Cloud to tears if he thinks about it too much. Zack doesn’t fuck him. They make love, breathing out of sync and hands intertwined. 

It’s warm and Cloud’s panties will have seen better days by the time they’re done. Cloud spreads his thighs, urging Zack on. He is calm, patient as he thrusts his hips, pressing kisses to Cloud’s face, his neck, his shoulders. At one point he licks the shell of Cloud’s ear, making the earring jingle. Cloud can’t help the bubble of laughter that erupts from his chest.

There’s a guttural groan as Zack’s hips stutter and he squeezes Cloud’s hands in his own. “Close,” he says, grinding into him. Cloud’s heart beats quicker in his throat, his chest hollow. 

“I’ve got you,” Cloud says, of all things. He nudges their noses together, pressing a kiss to the scar on Zack’s cheek. “Come on.”

It’s not long after that Zack comes, body fitted perfectly against Cloud’s. He pants through the aftershocks, leaning up on his elbows as he shakes and moans.

Cloud takes the opportunity to pet his own dick, tacky from Zack’s saliva and lube, and brings himself off, bearing down on Zack’s cock. 

“You’re so good,” Zack praises. He kisses him chastely, petting his arm. “Want me to clean us up?” 

He’s already moving when Cloud grabs him, keeping him close. “No,” Cloud protests, bringing his legs up and around Zack’s hips to keep in place. “No, stay.”

Zack would blush at the implication in other circumstances. But here, now: he settles down as best he can, nuzzling into Cloud’s neck.

“Okay,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss where neck meets shoulder. “I’m here.”

Later: Cloud dozes as Zack pulls out, straightening the panties back in place. He wipes them up haphazardly, too dizzily in love to be away from Cloud long enough to get them cleaned up properly. In the morning, Cloud will grumble about needing a bath and something comfy, the lace having dug into his skin uncomfortably throughout the night. Zack will kiss him, unable to find the words to express his devotion. Cloud will know anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to end chapters/fics :)  
> Twitter is bareuniverse in case you want to contact me for some reason? My cc is linked too!


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _but I want to be here_  
>  _truly be here_  
>  _to watch the ones that I love bloom_  
>   
>  “Zack,” Cloud says again, like it’s all he knows how to say.  
> “I know, _habibi_ ,” Zack says, turning to press kisses to Cloud’s face. “Look what we did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If trans male pregnancy and/or birth bothers you, feel free to skip this chapter! That's all it contains. Interactions with the baby will take place in the next chapter.  
> I did a shitload of research, but this still doesn't reflect how birth and newborns actually work. Take the process descriptions with a grain of salt. Also, Aerith is trained to work with children in the medical field because I said so!  
> I also changed the chapter titles because I didn't like my naming scheme. They're now numbered, reflecting the Enneagram chapter of Atlas: II by Sleeping At Last. Yes, there's hopefully going to be nine chapters.  
>   
> Take a shot every time Zack cries. (I'm not liable for whatever happens if you actually do that and I strongly discourage you from doing it at all. Zack is an emotional bitch.)

Zack cries the morning Cloud throws up in the middle of breakfast. Cloud was commenting on the taste— did Zack get different syrup on the last grocery trip?— when he dizzily stood up from his seat and raced to the bathroom. Zack almost forgot to turn off the stove before following, brushing Cloud’s hair back and rubbing between his shoulder blades while Cloud hugged the toilet seat. 

As his stomach calmed, Cloud leaned into Zack’s palm, drained of energy. “Think it’s time,” he had rasped, sitting back onto his calves. Zack pressed kisses to his shoulder, the crown of his head, nodding through silent tears.

Zack picked up a variety of pregnancy tests on his way home from work. They all came back positive. Cloud, surprisingly calm, rocked Zack back and forth in his arms as he sobbed. They fell asleep on the couch until Cloud woke up with cramps and Zack cried again.

Months pass in a blur. Cloud staves off his anxiety attacks for the sake of Zack and the baby. They take up yoga in the mornings by month 3. By month 5, Zack is sleeping curled into Cloud’s front to sing the baby to sleep. His favorite hobby upon coming home becomes kneeling religiously over Cloud’s stomach to feel for movement and giggling delightedly when he does. He also takes up meticulously massaging every inch of Cloud’s skin with lotion to ease his aches and pains.

Enough time rolls around with everything looking healthy when Aerith asks if they want to know the sex. Despite his excitement, Zack sits back and looks to Cloud, who shakes his head.

That’s that. And yet, Cloud stares at the wall in front of him, pillows doing most of the work as he lays in Zack’s arms. The clock is too blurry to make out without turning his head more, which he is too exhausted to do. Zack thoroughly wrought an orgasm out of him a few hours ago and has him feeling loose and warm; yet every time his eyes close and he drifts, he wakes with a start.

His lower back aches, a shock of pain sprouting from his abdomen eliciting a groan. “Zack,” Cloud grunts, elbowing his arm. “Move. Hurts.” Zack rolls away with a sigh, tossing his head back sleepily into the pillows. Cloud shifts, rolling until he’s leaning heavily into Zack’s side. The pain doesn’t let up.

“Zack,” Cloud calls, trying to keep the alarm out of his voice. He grits his teeth through the pain, taking deep, shaking breaths. “Zack, wake up.”

“Mmf,” Zack grunts, stretching his arms above his head. Cloud ducks his head underneath them, breathing in the array of scents trapped in Zack’s shirt. With a sick twist, the pain worsens, and Cloud cries out in pain. Zack is awake in an instant. “Cloud?”

“Sh—  _ ah _ ,” Cloud whines, pressing a hand to his swollen abdomen. His legs twist in even as he tries to relax. “Need to— get up,” he says breathlessly. Zack leans up, taking Cloud’s arms and lifting him into a sitting position. The pain— the  _ contractions _ — don’t let up. “Call Aerith.”

“What?” Zack asks, already reaching for his phone and dialing. His other arm is wrapped around Cloud as he leans into Zack’s side, temple pressed to his shoulder. “Is it— are you—”

“Better to be safe than sorry,” Cloud grits out, scooting until his feet dangle off the bed. “Help me?”

Zack bounces off the bed, phone trapped between his face and his shoulder. “Aerith? Sorry to wake you up,” he says, taking Cloud’s hands and pulling him up until he’s standing. “We think it’s time. Do you want Tifa here?” Cloud wraps his arms around Zack’s middle as he shuffles around their bed and into the bathroom. He mumbles an affirmative, not really caring at this point, and sits at the edge of their tub. “Sure. Help yourself. See you in a bit. Thanks, Aerith.”

He sets his phone down on the counter and watches as Cloud breathes, hands pressed to his stomach. Every time Cloud closes his eyes, he sways, so Zack sits beside him, rubbing his back and kissing his temple. “What do you need me to do?”

“Help,” Cloud says. He pulls at the waistband of his pants and sighs in relief. “These need to come off.” Zack nods, helping Cloud lift up and shove his pants off and away. There are unspeakable things happening inside his underwear.

“That’s— you’re—”

“I know.” Cloud hangs his head, taking a full, deep breath. “Let’s get the bath ready. Aerith can see how dilated I am, we’ll work from there.”

By the time Zack deems the water warm enough— but not too hot— Aerith is rushing through the door with duffel bags on her arms. She’s in a nightgown with a belt around her waist, her hair messily brought up in a ponytail. “Good morning, everyone,” she says cheerily as she unzips her bags and starts taking out various containers. “How far apart are contractions?”

“About five minutes,” Zack says, holding Cloud close as he grips Zack’s hand like a lifeline. “Maybe shorter.”

“Oh!” Aerith gasps, putting the things she’s holding down immediately. “Oh, let’s check on him now, then.”

“Why?” Zack asks, scooting back around the edge of the tub so Cloud can lay his head down in his lap. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s  _ wrong _ , Zack, you know this,” Aerith says, adjusting Cloud’s legs. “We just might not get a lot of time in the bath, that’s all. Cloud might have been in labor for longer than we thought.”

“Great,” Cloud comments, sweat beading on his brow. “The bath is calling and I can’t even answer.” Zack chokes on a laugh, wiping Cloud’s forehead gently with a facecloth.

“Four centimeters to go,” Aerith declares. “Get in that tub, Papa, so I can finish setting up.”

“Papa,” Cloud says, sounding delirious. “I’m going to be a Papa.”

“Easy, Cloud,” Zack says, helping the both of them maneuver so they can slip into the water. “You okay?”

“Feels better,” Cloud says, laying his head back over Zack’s shoulder. Zack kisses his cheek and rubs his stomach fondly. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you,” Zack murmurs, nuzzling the side of his face. “You’re amazing.”

Aerith calls out to Tifa to prep the bed for delivery. It’s real. It’s happening. Cloud is painfully reminded as his contractions get stronger, ebbed only by the warm water and Zack’s careful hands. “Can I get massages afterward, too?” Cloud asks genuinely, covering Zack’s hands with his own. Zack just laughs, nodding into his neck. Cloud thinks he might be crying again.

“Okay,” Aerith says, patting off her nightgown as she comes back into the bathroom. “How are we feeling?”

“As great as I can feel, I guess,” Cloud says, grimacing. “No one told me my thighs were going to hurt.”

“I did,” Aerith corrects, wagging a finger at him. “Don’t act unprepared.”

“I wasn’t expecting them to hurt this bad.”

“If it’s that bad, let’s check on you,” Aerith says. Cloud whines as Zack helps him back out of the water, turning his face into Zack’s neck as Aerith checks how dilated he is. Her silence speaks novels, until: “Hey, Zack?”

“Yeah?”

“Think you can carry him to your bed?”

“Oh my god,” Cloud says, pushing his face into Zack’s warm skin. Zack’s hands pause abruptly at Aerith’s question and Cloud misses the gentle massage.

“You mean—”

“Zack, are you going to carry him or do I have to do it?” Aerith says quickly.

“I’ve got him,” Zack assures. He plants his feet on the bathmat and dries them off before gingerly scooping Cloud up and bringing him out into their bedroom.

They’re immediately hit with the smell of thyme and oregano, the air steamy and warm. “I didn’t know you were cooking,” Cloud jokes, but his voice is weak. Zack barks out a laugh as he settles Cloud down on the bed, covered in plastic and towels, and kisses his forehead. “Stay,” he says as Zack starts to stand.

Sopping wet from the bath, Zack kneels on the edge of the bed and holds Cloud’s hand. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

The delivery goes smooth as silk. Zack keeps up his endless pep and soothing words spoken against Cloud’s temple, calming him when he tenses up and wiping away at his forehead and his eyes. Cloud’s legs shake in Aerith’s firm grip, his lungs heaving as he tries to find room to breathe between the pain. 

At 6:28 AM, August 23rd, Cloud hears his baby cry for the very first time.

Aerith attends to the baby as it wails, and Cloud attends to Zack as he does the same. He’s sobbing into the dry part of Cloud’s sleep shirt, hugging around Cloud’s shoulders. “You did it, Cloud— you really did it.”

“Yeah,” Cloud sighs, holding Zack close to his chest. Zack’s hair is falling over his face, a little damp at the ends, but comforting all the same. His eyes droop dangerously low. “I’m so tired.”

“I know,” Zack says, pressing kisses to Cloud’s collarbone. “Stay awake just a little longer, until Aerith can check you out.”

“Mm,” Cloud hums, letting his eyes close anyway.

“Cloud.” Zack pulls away and Cloud whines, trying fruitlessly to pull Zack back to his chest. “I mean it. Stay awake for me, okay?”

“Hey,” Aerith chimes in from behind. “She’s ready.”

Cloud is suddenly very much awake. “She?”

“Oops,” Aerith says, looking genuinely embarrassed at the slip.

Cloud reaches out for the baby— for  _ her _ , his  _ daughter _ — and cradles her close, looking at her scrunched, red face, feeling the way she wriggles inside the blanket she’s swaddled in. “Zack,” he whispers, and Zack’s arms are around and beneath his, an awestruck silence falling over them otherwise.

Slowly but surely, she calms in Cloud’s arms. Zack reaches up with a shaky hand to caress her cheek. “She’s beautiful,” he murmurs. Like she’s heard him, recognized him like an old friend, she opens her big, green eyes. Zack chokes on a breath; if he wasn’t crying before, he is now. “She looks just like you.”

“Zack,” Cloud says again, like it’s all he knows how to say. 

“I know,  _ habibi _ ,” Zack says, turning to press kisses to Cloud’s face. “Look what we did.”

They spend a while staring down at her while Aerith checks up on everything and cleans up. They find out she’s a ravenous little thing when they feed her and is out like a light otherwise. Once Cloud gets a blanket to cover himself up, Tifa makes her way in the room to gush over the soft blonde hair on her head and the way she pouts in her sleep.

“She really is just like Cloud already,” Tifa says, and Cloud rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, then yawns, exhaustion catching up to him. 

“I’ll be back later today to bring her by the office,” Aerith says, duffel bags over her shoulders once more. “If you need anything before that, call.”

“Get some sleep,” Zack tells her very sternly. 

“Well, your fatherly voice is already coming in nicely,” she comments. “You two get some rest, too.” Then she’s out the door.

“Fatherly…” Zack stares across the bed, at the bassinet within arm’s reach. “I’m… we’re fathers.”

“That’s great,” Cloud says, yawning again. “Now get me some pants and let’s sleep.”

“Sure thing, Pops,” Zack says. Cloud punches his arm with as much might as he can muster. (It isn’t a lot.) He comes back with fresh boxers and all of the fun accessories Cloud will be adorned with as he recovers, then cleans up the last of the spread on the bed before climbing in next to his fiance. 

The three of them sleep like babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a girl! I wanted to fit her name in here somewhere but decided it was more important to put it in the next chapter. You'll find out why soon. ;)  
> As always, find me on Twitter @bareuniverse!


End file.
